Knitwits, seeking good homes

Yes, we are the distant cousins of the Knitwits of Outer Omaze. But we’re from the other side of the world, or an other world, it depends. Above the little island of Akilam, in the sea of Putzel, we have been living on an imaginary cloud for yonks. One strong wind and a giant silver bird later here we are, in a land far, far away. Here with you. Hello. Pleased to meet you. How do you do? We laugh because you humans keep everyone at arm’s length with your handshakes. We Knitwits, we like to hug. We throw ourselves into an embrace at any opportunity. We think spooning is the most romantic thing in the world, it seems to encourage daydreaming and happiness. Life is all about being happy. Oh the joy! Like our cousins we also like lemon creams, creamsoda, marshmellows and eggy sandwiches. We have tried putting those marshmellows with the eggy centre on bread but it wasn’t the same. Eggy sandwiches as ‘padkos’ and cucumber sandwiches with our G&Ts at sunset. Doesn’t get much better than that. No, it’s not a typo - we think it should be marshmellow! That’s how they make us feel, a little fuzzy around the edges. Argh! We get so annoyed when compared to our cousins! No, our stories are not as long and flowery as theirs. For heaven’s sake we’ve been floating on a cloud, what life lessons do you think comes from that? So here we are with you to change all that, a new adventure, the next exciting phase of our evolution. Yes, believe in it, e-v-o-l-u-t-i-o-n, it really happens. We have been in quarantine at a safe house in Hillsun, with Enibas, who thankfully provided lots and lots of dvds on human behaviour. So from our analysis there are about 97243 different types. Each, however, with the same goal - to be loved. Sweet! xx

Disclaimer: No experiments were conducted on the Knitwits while in quarantine. No Knitwit was forced to eat their vegetables before their lemon creams. No Knitwit was judged for having lived a pretty shallow life. No Knitwit was required to sign an indemnity form, a confidentiality agreement or apply for a passport nor will they be tagged before leaving the safe house. At no time were they exposed to any Country & Western music. At all times they were allowed to hug and embrace the  help. Any thoughts and opinions expressed are that of the individual and not necessarily the philosophy of the Akilam clan of Knitwits.