Wannabe writer

but then Finding Nemo came along and stole my thunder!

My name is Garp.

I was given the name because it sounded like a fish – and yes, I am a fish.

My mother got the name from a book she was reading The World According to Garp, which was all the rage the year I was born.

Well, where do I begin – my first memory – I was standing at the bus stop with a bright yellow suitcase under my fin. I was going to discover and conquer the greater world beyond, but I had to catch a bus there. Duh! You know that feeling when you just have to get away? Well, this was it.

I stood in the blazing run for hours, feeling quite dehydrated, wondering whether it would be safer to go home to mother.

Just then a cloud of dust appeared in the distance, it was being pushed forward by the most almighty roar, and out of the cloud appeared a bright red bus. After it had idled to a stop in front of me I embarked. I had a bit of trouble with the bus driver because I didn’t have the correct change NOR a farecard to swipe. lordy  just want to move forward and already I am stuck. Haggle, haggle, kiss-arse, pretty please and we were on our way. I sat down and place my yellowsuitcase onto the blue seat next to me. Doubt for a moment – was I doing the right thing? I was after all a fish out of water.

We left the dusty plains and entered a countryside that was bright green and lush. There were brightly coloured birds in the trees (where else), I waved to them but they didn’t see me. They flew away to avoid the noise of the bus. Hmm, I wonder what flying is like?

There was no one else on the bus, and I think: does no one else have the same dream?

I must have fallen asleep and when I woke up the wind was roaring around my head. It forced itself in my face and pinned my fins to my sides. I was riding on a rollercoaster, i wanted to scream but the wind pushed the sound back at me. A kaleidoscope of vivid colours would mix in front of me, whirl around me and tear off into infinity.

Oh fishcakes, I thought, what have I done? What happened to the red bus? Where was my lovely yellow siutcase? as the song says: there are more questions then answers. I realised that even when you have a dream nothing ever really turns out as you expect it to.

So I thought: Seize the day, Carpe(also a fish) Diem! I opened my eyes wide so that I could take in all the sights and sensations this experience had to offer.

The kaleidoscope of colour sucked me right in and seemed to envelope me, and it felt tighter and tighter and would whirl away again in these wide bands of colour. Maybe I had gotten my wish, maybe this was the closest a fish would ever come to flying.

Then suddenly it was downhill and faster still and it seemed as though my scales were going to be plucked right out of my skin at this speed. Then, dear heavens, we plunged straight into a pool of water, a lake, the sea, I’m not sure which. did I blow many bubbles at the surprise of it all. Eventually I slowed down and it seemed so familar to me (a fish in water) that I felt quite safe. Another fish swam towards me, at least i thought it was a fish – I’d never seen the likes of him before. “Hi there, little goldfish(that was me),” he said, “What’s your name? how did you get here? By the way, my name is Arthur.”

“Hello Arthur. I shouldn’t be talking to strangers, but I am on an adventure and I don’t know anyone, so maybe meetig stranges is part of the adventure.”

“An adventure? Well, I’m always having those!”

“What, you mean everyday?”

“Sure – all of life is an adventure, and boredom is a lack of ideas, “ he laughed, “I read that in a book somewhere.”

What sort of evolution was this where fish were qouting from books?

“So what’s your name?” he asked again.

“It’s Garp.”

“Garp!” he laughed again. He laughs alot. “Garp. I’m not a carp, I play the harp, I know not the word tarp, I once saw a lark,” he sang. It made no sense to me. Was he making fun of me? Or just having fun? It’s hard to tell when you don’t know someone.

He laughed some more. “Come on then,” he said, “we’re not having an adventure here. Let’s go!”

So I followed him – who knows where one fish could lead another.

“Hey, Arthur, this water is burning my eyes.”

“Well, that’s because it’s salt water. You’re in a big oceanic aquarium. You better adapt are you’ll be pickled in brine. hahahahahahaha!”

Oh, gosh josh! regardless I swam after Arthur. He was quite beautiful – bright yellow dots with blue edges on white – like someone had sat down one Sunday afternoon and patiently painted the design onto him.